The Good, The Bad and the… No. 8

"Ok lads, this is the plan. You go out and look all moody,
and while I'm pretending I hate myself, Krist throws his bass in the air
and tries to land it on his head. Hello book deal..."

The Good - Well, kind of. Full details of Nirvana's upcoming Anniversary edition have been announced, but is it such a good idea? Nirvana were pretty headstrong about not 'selling out', even though it may have happened to a certain extent, so the release doesn't really seem in keeping with the band's ethos and poses a number of questions.

First of all, the person who wrote the songs happens to be dead, which means the main beneficiaries are going to be his existing 'estate' or next of kin and the record label. Of course, Krist and Dave won't do too badly either.

So if the main parties benefiting aren't the people who wrote the music (Krist and Dave aside), are they not capitalising on a dead man's fame?

Then again, what about the fans, do they want it?  Well, it's not that easy to say because there are different versions with different stuff on them, such as the Super Dooper Delux Ultra Mega Whooper version that has recordings of early rehearsals and footage of their only officially filmed concert.

Maybe the fans want that kind of thing, and who am I to question that?

After that you have to consider if this is really problem at all. Who cares if there's a re-released album out anyway? It's not hurting anyone.

Yeah, still feel's a little uncomfortable though, doesn't it?

"Ok then, five plus one... you.
...no, 12. Oh, right, yeah
I was just testing."

The Bad - John Boehner. The American congressman responsible for the Republican Party's budget proposal over the Armageddon posing debt crisis, has been caught out having left a $517 billion hole in his figures.

How can you forget 517 billion when you're only adding up to 1.2 trillion? How on earth can you miss nearly half the total figure? If you're adding two and two, then I can understand coming up with three or five, but if your answer is "uh… two?", well, you're an idiot.

I appreciate he had to take away $517,000,000,000 from $1,200,000,000,000, but you just take off the zeros, don't you.

1200

-517

=683

EASY!

Anyway, the reason that this is in the bad section is that the issue has further complicated and therefore delayed the vital decision on whether America will increase the amount of money it can borrow next month when the bill they currently can't afford arrives. At the minute an agreement doesn't look likely, which means at least more recession and at worst, as mentioned, Armageddon.

Pans People - Hot, ish.

The pops – Yeah, I know, now the rumour mill is saying Top of the Pops could be coming back. What the? Just a few weeks after we wrote bring back music on TV, and one week after they announced a return of The Old Grey Whistle Test, the BBC have hinted dear old Top of the Pops might come back.

Ah, Top of the Pops was great, wasn't it? Ah, the edgy music, the professional presenting, the refusal to buckle to budget constraints for making artists mime, the… yeah, no, it wasn't great, was it.

The Bad The Beck and The… 7

"When you said destroy the Kremlin, we thought you were
talking about the Cold War, Mr Robinson."

The Bad - Sorry, but due to some last minute news we couldn't fit a good in today, so here's an extra bad. The DUP have snubbed a Gay Pride event in Stormont today, alleging they weren't given enough time to supply a speaker (unlike all the other parties, said sceptical cat). I'm sure that'll be a fantastic boost for approximately one in six of Northern Ireland's voters who not only have to deal with prejudice against them from their fellow plebiscites, but now the historically gay rights dodging DUP has indicated that the feeling is institutional. That's nice, isn't it?

Wise up, son.

The Beck - Glenn flaming Beck. He's only gone and done it again. Not content with getting the boot from his putrid pulpit on Fox News, the ultra-right wing neo conservative broadcaster may have just signed the death warrant for his purposefully contrary and inflammatory radio show.

Beck, who's long rap sheet of faux pas, fumbles, gaffes and outright outrages include occasionally crying on camera out of sheer patriotism, regular erroneous conspiracy peddling, accusing President Barack Obama of "a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture", driving the downfall of the vital ACORN programme that helped low income familes get affordable housing, accusing leftwing philanthropist George Soros of being "a Jewish boy helping send Jews to the death camps", and so on and so forth ad nauseam. I could go on for some time.

Beck's latest moment of insight is to compare the Norwegian Youth League members, dozens of whom were tragically shot by right wing extremist Anders Behring Breivik in recent days during their annual camp in Utøya, to the Hitler Youth.

Speaking on his show, Beck said: "There was a shooting at a political camp which sounds a little like, you know, the Hitler Youth or whatever, you know what I mean. Who does a camp for kids that's all about politics? Disturbing."

Well he does, for a start.

Anyway, if his fans still think that someone so capable of callously perverting the truth of such a tragedy is worth listening to and supporting, then… well, I don't even want to think about what that says about them.

And the facepalm inducing - Here's something interesting; the top ten selling UK albums of the current century as revealed in our news story today. Ready?

James Blunt, yesterday.

1. Back To Bedlam – James Blunt (3,239,713 sales)

2. No Angel – Dido (3,062,777)

3. Spirit – Leona Lewis (3,034,653)

4. White Ladder – David Gray (2,940,575)

5. 1 – The Beatles (2,898,235)

6. Life For Rent – Dido (2,866,350

7. Beautiful World – Take That (2,820,079)

8. A Rush Of Blood To The Head – Coldplay (2,768,947)

9. Hopes And Fears – Keane (2,761,649)

10. Adele – (>1,500,000)

Isn't that interesting everyone?

The Good The Bad and The… 6

"Ha ha ha, 1,782, 1,783, ha ha, this is brilliant!"

The Good - Springsteen should be Boss of New Jersey. A less than serious poll by the Public Policy Polling Survey in the American state of New Jersey has found that voters were more likely to vote for rock god Bruce Springsteen than its Republican incumbent. It's America's first step towards resurrecting it's international reputation, and not a moment too soon!

The Bad - Censorship by threat. Lawyers of erstwhile over dramatic, balladeering gesticulator and vocal bull in China shop, Celine Dion, have managed to do something that Governments in the western world have struggled to accomplish for decades, censoring the internetz.

Borrowing He-Man's legs helped defeat
Skeletor, but they weren't great evening wear.

After finding a website devoted to hilarious snaps of the sonically sanctimonious singing pasty pocket pixie, Dion had her minions confront the site's owner with a terse letter of threatening disapproval.

The strapped-for-cash owner of the Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion blog, Nick Angiolillo, couldn't afford the lawyer fees needed to even respond to the cease and desist order and closed the hilarious site, much to the sorrow of its faithful followers. 

In a statement posted on the otherwise closed website, Nick said: "Hey y’all. Céline Dion found our blog, and she didn’t like it. We just got a letter from Céline’s lawyers that the blog has to be shut down.

"Though this blog is well within the realm of ‘fair use’, I don’t have the money or time to get a lawyer to respond. The dream is over."

However, there is light at the end of the oesophagus, as many of the pictures from the site are available by typing Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion into Google's image search.

"Long line drive into left field, it's up, up, up. Lightbody's
looking for it, he goes up... aw, home run."

And the comeback – Snow Patrol are back! Well, in a way. Their latest single, Called Out In the Dark, sounds like a Robyn remix of an old track, and probably for good reason. The band made so much money from their other songs being covered that it's not surprising this latest effort would fit easily onto the albums of more than a few currently popular singers.

CYNICAL MUCH?!

You can listen to it here. 

The good, the bad and the… No. 5

Professor Xavier's problem hour phone-in show
rarely had many callers.

The Good – The Old Grey Whistle Test is back! Only a few weeks after blogging about the severe lack of serious music TV shows, the BBC have announced the OGWT is to return to our screens. …What's that? …Radio?

Oh, apparently the show's reanimation will be limited to the radio. A radio music show then, presented by Bob Harris. Completely different from Bob Harris' current music radio show then. Whatever the idea is behind it, it'll be interesting to see if the show eventually migrates back to the box. 

Marty's half price leopard skin jacket was a little tight
around the neck.

The Bad – Getting attacked by a leopard. Today's Guardian has pictures of an unfortunate forest guard getting attacked by a wild leopard in a small Indian town. Makes you wonder (well, it makes me wonder) about the days when leopard attacks were a very real threat in general life. There you are, skipping up the street (mud path) to the shops (pond), just thinking about how flat the world is and wondering how the rain gets in the sky when bam! A leopard jumps out and bites you on the face.

No insurance, no painkillers, nothing. In fact, you'd have to spend half an hour collecting firewood just to have a cup of tea and recuperate. What an absolute nightmare that would be.  And lack of sugar! Hadn't even thought of that... What about milk?

Downing Street, yesterday. George Osborne begins to
feel the strain of the economic downturn.

And the Archer – Relatively new adult animation series Archer is an inspired find by my housemate. Charting the international jet setting high-jinx of the loveable floundering narcissist Sterling Archer and his band of equally inept colleagues, this cheeky little show is full of belly laughs and rye sniggers.

The flippant, saucy script is backed up by some nice animation and character design, while the gags fly betwixt witticisms and the occasional slapstick moment.

Highly recommended for Adult Swim fans, or those with a wicked sense of humour.

The good the bad and the… 4

Guess what I got with all that coin...

The Good – It's got to be the Murdochalypse, hasn't it? Who would have thunk but two weeks ago that one of the world's most powerful men would be lost for words and crumbling on our television screens before being slapped on the head with a foam pie?

What's most interesting about the whole affair is what happens next. There are a lot of powerful powerful people involved - up to their necks - so there is no guarantee anything will happen. A concerted campaigning of obfuscation is already underway by Brooks and the Murdochs, so some diligence will be needed on our part to ensure those involved in the web of misdeed and corruption are dealt with.

At present there are a lot of necks on the line. Not even Max Clifford can get Max Clifford out of this one. Hacking, lying, denial, corrupt payments, drama, intrigue, sudden deaths, it's all happening.

But despite the unpredicted confidence of Murdoch Empire shareholders, Rupert's removal from the heart of British politics will have immense consequences. For example, if this scandal proves a contagion to the rest of his operation, such as Fox News, then world politics could see a very real shift as America realigns itself away from the fundamentalist right wing, neo con blight.

I've got a bad feeling about this. 'This' being your ability
to cobble together a photoshop image.

There's a lot hanging by a thread at present. 

The Bad – Jedi Jim isn't Alan Sugar's business partner. Give him an "aw". Despite possessing powers of blarney that would befit a long running comic book series, big Jim Eastwood (what a class name) just ran out of pertinent proverbs, salubrious sayings and cloying clichés at the last. If only he'd remembered a phrase of wisdom by dear old Groucho Marx, he could have won the £250,000 investment.

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

Finally, mathematicians around the world were able
to jot down the true value of pie.

 The Marleys – After Jonnie Marbles attempted to make himself a star by wrapping a cream pie around the head of Rupert Murdoch, it has left the nation wondering, hero or zero?

In my grumble opinion, it's zero. Just as those representing the people (I'm talking about our politicians in case you hadn't guessed) began tearing apart his dark actions with admirable decorum, up rocks Jonnie Marbles to shame the process and steal this morning's headlines. What a bloody idiot.

The good, the bad and the... No.3

"I'll tell you what's magic, that isn't even my hand..."

The Good: Penn and Teller's Fool Us. This is an example of TV using a little bit of imagination and coming up with a decent show – was it really so difficult? The magical duo stand aside for a brief period to allow under the radar magicians to shine, and if their tricks manage to fool the best in the business (that's Pen and Teller, in case you didn't know), they get a slot on the pair's Vegas show. So far, all the pretenders have been of an impressive quality, with a few stars of the future in the mix. Why it's taken so long for a half-decent entertainment show to come along is anyone's guess, but I'm blaming the oppressive Ant and Dec regime.

Look at all your tweets!

The Bad: Well, it probably could have gone into the good section, but the unending spinage of everything and anything Adele will have to take a break for a while, as the shouty songstress announces a bit of a break before her next recording. Not that I'm saying she can't sing, but come on. Her music has reached official plague status with its ubiquity. In fact, I even found the end of one track at the bottom of that drawer at home that no one looks in. The one with the screwdriver, bookies pen and old letters that came to the wrong address.

"It's alright Larry, I could get a bus in there..."

The nostalgic: Yes, it's the final curtain for the Space Shuttle Atlantis, which is scheduled to launch for the last time on Friday after 30 years flying into space, apparently. I say apparently because despite being interested in all things astronomical, I can't say with any great certainty what the Space Shuttle was for. Apart from looking like the smart car version of a jet and having a big robot arm, I believe it mostly just did maintenance and cost $8.3 squillion dollars. Still, maybe the replacement (if there ever is one) will look a bit more like the Millennium Falcon and we'll all be happy.

The good, the bad and the… No.2

At last, Australia!

The Good: We're just off the phone to Irish comic legend Tommy Tiernan about his new show, Crooked Man. Apart from making the mistake that the show was entirely about Tommy turning 40 (stupid press blurb), we had a good chin waggle about his thoughts on comedy and making people laugh during a recession. Read all about it very soon.

The Bad: American audiences clapping at every joke. While watching some Youtube videos researching the aforementioned interview, we found this Tommy Tiernan stand-up slot on the David Letterman Show. Tommy can barely get a line out without the audience slapping their hands together like a bunch of seals at a Mr Miyagi remembrance service. 

 

The Curious: Monks levitating water? Now I've seen everything. Well, not everything.