It's Lies, I Tells Ya!

Talking about lies, here's a new single from infant (in band years not, you know, infant ones) band, Them Changes.

Their press release, which we received this morning, began by telling us that Steve Whiteley - formerly of ATC Management - is managing the band. I don't know if that's a big deal or not, by the way. 

The lads turned up a bit early.

 Anyway, their promotional blurb also tells us they recently met Jack White at The Wheelbarrow in Camden where the band runs a night called Hooligan Soup.

Them Changes and Jack ended up swapping numbers, the press statement says, and the boys are now - allegedly - being mentored by him.

You can believe that all you want, but its creativity was enough for us to have a listen.

It's a barmy song really. The band use a guitar cranked with so much chorus effect that it makes The Police's Andy Summers sound like he was playing clean.

Anyway, the chorus is quite good (if you like the 80s chord changes) even if the rest of the song is a little sparse. Oh, and try to avoid watching the video. We don't have a link to their audio only version, so just look away from your monitor. If that's still possible.

 

It's All About The Size Of Your Stick

Oh, I thought you meant ELIZABETH Hurley...

Ireland has been on the receiving end of a concerted charm offensive over the past two weeks, so what do we make of it all?

Last week, The Queen [or Elizabeth Windsor for the anti-royalists] charmed the tweed pants of the Irish people, and managed to drop the jaw of Irish President Mary McAleese by muttering an Irish phrase.

Meanwhile, yesterday, American President Barack Obama sent Irish eyes into feverish merriment. His Dublin speech was so rousing, it made that one in the film Independence Day with the line "we shall not go quietly into the night…" [you know the one I mean] sound like John Tickle reading Portuguese stock market reports. 

As ever, timing is a crucial tightrope to navigate, and both these visits could not have come a better time for the embattled country. Not only that, but the tone of both these visits has been measured with astounding accuracy, keeping most of the easily put out noses safely in joint.

Even arch anti-royalists, Sinn Fein, could barely muster words of protest against The Queen's Irish sojourn. The party did release a number of black balloons, ahem, but they knew any loud efforts of opposition were sure to attract more wrath than they would invoke.

Barack Obamas' visit, on the other hand, capitalised on the already pro-democrat sentiment that is more or less Europe-wide. His electoral message "Yes we can" carried across the Atlantic in 2008 and part ownership of its sentiment was something the Irish people were audibly ecstatic to embrace.

But before we start hugging our western ruler posters too tightly, it's important to remember that the nations of the British Isles, and of Europe, have a responsibility.

That is a responsibility to hold leaders to account. To measure government by its efficacy and not its marketing. To ensure mistakes are paid for, that manifestos are followed to the letter, that laws are fair and implemented fairly, that institutions are worth the money we pay, and that we have our say and decide our own destinies.

Our civil awareness and activity is what has won - in only the last half of the last centaury, remember - one person one vote, free elections, innocence before guilt, accountability of politicians and basic human rights.

This was only possible by holding past leaders to the highest of standards, of a million cynical eyes guarding against corruption and of ensuring those in public office realised their power was a privilege and not a right.

Always remember that the size of the carrot is directly proportional to the size of the stick.

It's Vital You Vote!

So, The Big List had a meeting with the Tennents Vital people this morning and the featured word of the morning was "exciting".

Although the official line-up for the Bangor gig happening this August is still under VERY tight wraps, we're told the headliner band is not only the festival's biggest ever but also "one of the biggest acts in the world".

Rumours are still flashing around the internetz of who it could be, while our guesses of Arcade Fire and Muse were met with a blank expression.

One thing that did arise later while discussing the matter back in Big List HQ, however, is that Two Door Cinema Club were an obvious choice for the festival in a big support slot. Seeing as the gig will be taking place in Bangor, it would be only fitting that the local lads had pride of place. So after a quick check on their schedule for August, it seems TDCC currently have a convenient four-day empty window in their schedule over the weekend in question.You heard it hear first kids [although, we do suspect you probably weren't as slow as us to figure it out).
The official line-up is being announced next Wednesday, so stay tuned here for details. 

In other news, check this out. It's a T-shirt designed by a local journalist for a Biffy Clyro competition and if there was any justice in the world it would win. The T-Shirt would become the offical tour t-shirt for the band this year, so if you've got a moment please get clicking! 

You can also check out some lively discussion about said T-Shirt on the infamous NI music forum, Fastfude, here.

You Can't Sugar Coat The Apprentice

Today's blog is a look at that popular exercise in human devaluation, BBC1's The Apprentice.
This is a show that takes domineering, self obsessed, passive aggressive individuals, and then rewards them for ruthlessness and subservience to the boss - a barely disguised metaphor for success in a capitalist society then.
Maybe that's what is so compelling about this show. We can all identify with the various trials faced by the 12 apprentices, but we're not quite as prepared to go the same depths of depravity as these 'high flying executive' types. It's a bit like the fascinating horror gleaned from watching a dog unrepentantly lick vomit.
Much of the show is taken up with the 12 contestants/applicants involved in 'negotiations' to "drive down prices", as they strive despairingly to satisfy the whims of jumped-up Del Boy, Alan Sugar.

"Karen! Oi con't werk iss loight swytch."

Most of these 'negotiations' are squirm inducing-ly degrading, as shop owners stare disbelievingly at the hopeful's ability to bridle their brimming tears of shame.
Well, they are described by those involved as 'negotiations' but, more often than not, the tasks descend to your common-or-garden begging. The slim veneer of 'business acumen' commonly slips from the shoulders of ambition to reveal a glaring peek-a-boo bra of desperation.
We laugh at the Eastern game shows that seem to torture competitors in feats of endurance, but at least they emerge from the their ordeals with their dignity somewhat intact having proved some latitude of bravery in the least.
Success in the apprentice is an altogether dirtier affair. It can only be garnered through complete, genuine and utter revocation of all dignity, self-respect, loyalty to your fellow man and common manners as they snap phones from each other and zealously betray their colleagues at the first moment possible. 
The title of the show really should be 'The who is the most effective at swindle and the least concerned with ethical integrity-entice'
The main advantage of the show however, is that it is a damning indictment of modern business practices, to those who are looking hard enough. It reveals the absurdity of the reward structure in the western world, a world where you can fill your pockets with shameless exploitation, and where draconian subservience will get you places.
None of this applies to Jim however. He, of course, is the man.

Digital Killed The Video Star

Hello everyone, here is The Big List's first big blog. I've basically just attached this month's ever popular leader column, so enjoy and feel free to comment on it. Not that I'll read it... 

It wasn't so long ago that the music video sprang to the top of the food chain, hunting to near extinction it's favourite prey, the radio star.

Now, barely 30 years into its existence, the last refugees of the format are cowering, dodo like, in the dominating shadow of the digital download.

There were some fascinating examples of the species along the way, however. From the aggressive and fun loving Sabotage, to the surreal efforts of Björk and paradigm shifting Smells Like Teen Spirit, all of which contributed to a thriving ecosystem that entertained us all.

But, the video's natural habitat, MTV, now rarely even shows a music video, instead opting to bring us the intellect haemorrhaging adventures of wealthy people that are so vacant it's a surprise the vacuum in their heads isn't full of neutrinos. In fact, they should scrap the £4.4 billion Large Hadron Collider, and instead line the cast of the Kardashians, The Only Way is Essex, Peter Andre et al, ear to ear in a circle and just fire the photons around that.

Trust me, within the week we'll be neck high in Higgs' bosons, and those involved will probably not even notice.

Getting back to the point, it's amazing how quickly the music industry is transitioning through its latest wave of phases. We've moved from vinyl (which was still best selling format during the birth of the video) to the eight track, to the cassette, to the CD, to the digital download – with the short-lived mini-disc along the way – in less than 30 years.

All of which went on during the life and death of the music video, and this provides us with a very interesting allegory for what may be coming.

Digital downloads seem here to stay, just as the music video once did. Television was so ubiquitous in the western world in the past 40 odd years that no one even saw the computer as the new format, and in the same way, maybe there is something that no one has yet spotted as being the vehicle for our musical consumption in the future. Computer games seem a major candidate, but it really could be anything. Fast food perhaps? Your shoes? Who am I to speculate.

Remember, you can contact me by emailing Damien@thebiglist.co.uk or ruin your future and the generally held opinion of you during an acceptance speech. Or keep your fool mouth shut and try to gain respect for your actions. That goes for most people mind you.