The Warzone Collective Big Interview

Following on from our piece (which you can read here) in issue 221 of the Big List below is the full interview carried out by Garry Brooks
 

 By Garry Brooks

 “Derelict, dive and up a grotty alley…”, “High spirited and forward looking you don’t see these things….nothing like it.” These were the words used to describe Giros a number of years ago in a documentary charting the history of the Warzone Collective.  Close to the employment centre it had a simple but effective premise – share resources – and that’s what they did.  Now resurrected and putting on gigs again near Bruce Street in Belfast I caught up with Jimmy Segus to chat about the collective, how things have changed over the years, and more importantly the here and now.

 Browsing the gigs on your website there is a diverse range of musical styles within the same line ups.  Death metal bands playing with dub step and prog bands for example.  Which style of music defines the Warzone Collective or is it noise for music’s sake?

Going right back to when we started out in the mid 80's the main 'style' was punk, and particularly what the music press of the time erroneously labeled 'anarcho-punk' after bands like CRASS and Poison Girls. For those readers not familiar with CRASS or anarcho-punk there's plenty of information online - CRASS encouraged a strong DIY mentality - you could form a band and put out a record WITHOUT a label, or you could do a zine and print and sell it yourself, or you could organise in a host of different ways - the key was to feel EMPOWERED to do such things and the philosophy behind it all was a variant of anarchism. We don't need middlemen, who are essentially parasites living off other people's creativity. CRASS made their own albums, folded inserts and leaflets by hand into them, and went on to sell millions, ploughing all the money back into helping other bands and projects, including a small group at the time called Greenpeace. They were intensely political and more influential than many people think as a trip online or to YouTube will show you.

They played in Belfast in 1982, twice actually, and their ideas took root in the local punk scene, which until that point had more of a pop punk feel about it. It was this influence which led to the formation of Warzone Collective; that philosophy of doing things for yourself and being confident as individuals and as a community; working without hierarchy and giving everyone a say in that process became central to everything we did. So although punk would probably be the central genre, since those times we have incorporated just about every style of music out there, and we promote any musical genre, provided it meets with our core principles - which are basically anti-sectarian, anti-racist, anti-sexist but which also promotes the DiY ethos.  We're not too keen on wannabes, rock stars and the other spoiled brats of the music industry. You can go to MTV for that!

I suppose there's a lot of really fake music out there, which is more geared towards record sales than being honestly entertaining, or having something genuinely meaningful to offer in their lyrics .  Things like X-Factor promote this designer market thing and while some of the acts have great voices and all, the whole thing is false and based on sales demographics. We prefer to see bands that write their own songs, play them live, record them and get them out there without having to prostitute themselves to the corporate machine.

Kicking Against The Pricks

By Hornby

Born of a time when conflict ruled the streets the Warzone Centre (aka Giro’s) placed itself at the heart of the city, deciding to not let the bastards grind them down. 

They offered a beacon of light to all in the city who were tired of fumbling around in the dark. Right from the beginning the goal was simply, a safe haven to share music, idea’s and food. Where you were from was irrelevant, what school you went to did not matter, how you pronounced the letter ‘H’ meant nothing. They wanted to encourage who you were, explore what you thought and find a way to contribute, for every one’s benefit.

Lofty goals for a group of punks from various parts of Northern Ireland, but what started as an idea grew into the most essential space in Belfast’s city centre.

“When we first started out there were no computers or mobile phones - you had to meet people face to face, or walk down the road to a phone booth.”

2nd Inagural Olde Belfast Velo Jaunt

Anyone who happened upon Custom House Square on July 31 last year may remember an odd sight, 60 to 70 fantastically attired pedal cyclists had gathered to undertake a leisurely jaunt along one of the cities cycle paths.

This was the debut of the Olde Belfast Velo Jaunt and it must have been a worthwhile adventure as the organiser has decided to rally the pedalers once again.

On Monday 19 cyclists of all persuasions are invited to don their fanciest cycling attire, whether they be plus-fours and a knitted sweater or a one-piece lycra bodysuit, pack a sumptuous lunch and mount up for a gentle trundle out of the city towards the eventual grazing point of Hazelbank Park in Whiteabby.

With the second event only a few weeks away I meet Ryan Fitzsimmons, the man behind all this good clean fun, to find out the whys and what fors.

100 Comic x 12 Hours = Mirthathon

Fevered is one way to describe the mind of Andrew Johnston another might be inspired.
The comedian, writer and punk rocker has been using his powers for good recently trekking some wild places for Mencap. He has decided to now test everyone’s endurance with 12 solid hours of comedy. 100 comedians doing 7-minute slots, non-stop. The Big List managed to get Andrew to take a breath and answer some questions.

Where did the idea come from?

I've always had a fascination with these kinds of events. My old punk band, the Dangerfields, played four gigs in one day, on 6 June 2006, to make sure we played our 666th gig on that date. We also did 40 gigs in 40 days on tour in 2003. After taking up comedy, I decided to look into world records for stand-up. The Laugh Factory in Hollywood holds the record for the longest stand-up show by multiple comedians - 130 in 80 hours. We're doing 100 in 12. But we're not trying to beat any records - it just seemed like an interesting project to take on, and a fun way to raise money for an excellent cause.

The Good, The Bad and the… No. 8

"Ok lads, this is the plan. You go out and look all moody,
and while I'm pretending I hate myself, Krist throws his bass in the air
and tries to land it on his head. Hello book deal..."

The Good - Well, kind of. Full details of Nirvana's upcoming Anniversary edition have been announced, but is it such a good idea? Nirvana were pretty headstrong about not 'selling out', even though it may have happened to a certain extent, so the release doesn't really seem in keeping with the band's ethos and poses a number of questions.

First of all, the person who wrote the songs happens to be dead, which means the main beneficiaries are going to be his existing 'estate' or next of kin and the record label. Of course, Krist and Dave won't do too badly either.

So if the main parties benefiting aren't the people who wrote the music (Krist and Dave aside), are they not capitalising on a dead man's fame?

Then again, what about the fans, do they want it?  Well, it's not that easy to say because there are different versions with different stuff on them, such as the Super Dooper Delux Ultra Mega Whooper version that has recordings of early rehearsals and footage of their only officially filmed concert.

Maybe the fans want that kind of thing, and who am I to question that?

After that you have to consider if this is really problem at all. Who cares if there's a re-released album out anyway? It's not hurting anyone.

Yeah, still feel's a little uncomfortable though, doesn't it?

"Ok then, five plus one... you.
...no, 12. Oh, right, yeah
I was just testing."

The Bad - John Boehner. The American congressman responsible for the Republican Party's budget proposal over the Armageddon posing debt crisis, has been caught out having left a $517 billion hole in his figures.

How can you forget 517 billion when you're only adding up to 1.2 trillion? How on earth can you miss nearly half the total figure? If you're adding two and two, then I can understand coming up with three or five, but if your answer is "uh… two?", well, you're an idiot.

I appreciate he had to take away $517,000,000,000 from $1,200,000,000,000, but you just take off the zeros, don't you.

1200

-517

=683

EASY!

Anyway, the reason that this is in the bad section is that the issue has further complicated and therefore delayed the vital decision on whether America will increase the amount of money it can borrow next month when the bill they currently can't afford arrives. At the minute an agreement doesn't look likely, which means at least more recession and at worst, as mentioned, Armageddon.

Pans People - Hot, ish.

The pops – Yeah, I know, now the rumour mill is saying Top of the Pops could be coming back. What the? Just a few weeks after we wrote bring back music on TV, and one week after they announced a return of The Old Grey Whistle Test, the BBC have hinted dear old Top of the Pops might come back.

Ah, Top of the Pops was great, wasn't it? Ah, the edgy music, the professional presenting, the refusal to buckle to budget constraints for making artists mime, the… yeah, no, it wasn't great, was it.

The Bad The Beck and The… 7

"When you said destroy the Kremlin, we thought you were
talking about the Cold War, Mr Robinson."

The Bad - Sorry, but due to some last minute news we couldn't fit a good in today, so here's an extra bad. The DUP have snubbed a Gay Pride event in Stormont today, alleging they weren't given enough time to supply a speaker (unlike all the other parties, said sceptical cat). I'm sure that'll be a fantastic boost for approximately one in six of Northern Ireland's voters who not only have to deal with prejudice against them from their fellow plebiscites, but now the historically gay rights dodging DUP has indicated that the feeling is institutional. That's nice, isn't it?

Wise up, son.

The Beck - Glenn flaming Beck. He's only gone and done it again. Not content with getting the boot from his putrid pulpit on Fox News, the ultra-right wing neo conservative broadcaster may have just signed the death warrant for his purposefully contrary and inflammatory radio show.

Beck, who's long rap sheet of faux pas, fumbles, gaffes and outright outrages include occasionally crying on camera out of sheer patriotism, regular erroneous conspiracy peddling, accusing President Barack Obama of "a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture", driving the downfall of the vital ACORN programme that helped low income familes get affordable housing, accusing leftwing philanthropist George Soros of being "a Jewish boy helping send Jews to the death camps", and so on and so forth ad nauseam. I could go on for some time.

Beck's latest moment of insight is to compare the Norwegian Youth League members, dozens of whom were tragically shot by right wing extremist Anders Behring Breivik in recent days during their annual camp in Utøya, to the Hitler Youth.

Speaking on his show, Beck said: "There was a shooting at a political camp which sounds a little like, you know, the Hitler Youth or whatever, you know what I mean. Who does a camp for kids that's all about politics? Disturbing."

Well he does, for a start.

Anyway, if his fans still think that someone so capable of callously perverting the truth of such a tragedy is worth listening to and supporting, then… well, I don't even want to think about what that says about them.

And the facepalm inducing - Here's something interesting; the top ten selling UK albums of the current century as revealed in our news story today. Ready?

James Blunt, yesterday.

1. Back To Bedlam – James Blunt (3,239,713 sales)

2. No Angel – Dido (3,062,777)

3. Spirit – Leona Lewis (3,034,653)

4. White Ladder – David Gray (2,940,575)

5. 1 – The Beatles (2,898,235)

6. Life For Rent – Dido (2,866,350

7. Beautiful World – Take That (2,820,079)

8. A Rush Of Blood To The Head – Coldplay (2,768,947)

9. Hopes And Fears – Keane (2,761,649)

10. Adele – (>1,500,000)

Isn't that interesting everyone?

The Good The Bad and The… 6

"Ha ha ha, 1,782, 1,783, ha ha, this is brilliant!"

The Good - Springsteen should be Boss of New Jersey. A less than serious poll by the Public Policy Polling Survey in the American state of New Jersey has found that voters were more likely to vote for rock god Bruce Springsteen than its Republican incumbent. It's America's first step towards resurrecting it's international reputation, and not a moment too soon!

The Bad - Censorship by threat. Lawyers of erstwhile over dramatic, balladeering gesticulator and vocal bull in China shop, Celine Dion, have managed to do something that Governments in the western world have struggled to accomplish for decades, censoring the internetz.

Borrowing He-Man's legs helped defeat
Skeletor, but they weren't great evening wear.

After finding a website devoted to hilarious snaps of the sonically sanctimonious singing pasty pocket pixie, Dion had her minions confront the site's owner with a terse letter of threatening disapproval.

The strapped-for-cash owner of the Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion blog, Nick Angiolillo, couldn't afford the lawyer fees needed to even respond to the cease and desist order and closed the hilarious site, much to the sorrow of its faithful followers. 

In a statement posted on the otherwise closed website, Nick said: "Hey y’all. Céline Dion found our blog, and she didn’t like it. We just got a letter from Céline’s lawyers that the blog has to be shut down.

"Though this blog is well within the realm of ‘fair use’, I don’t have the money or time to get a lawyer to respond. The dream is over."

However, there is light at the end of the oesophagus, as many of the pictures from the site are available by typing Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion into Google's image search.

"Long line drive into left field, it's up, up, up. Lightbody's
looking for it, he goes up... aw, home run."

And the comeback – Snow Patrol are back! Well, in a way. Their latest single, Called Out In the Dark, sounds like a Robyn remix of an old track, and probably for good reason. The band made so much money from their other songs being covered that it's not surprising this latest effort would fit easily onto the albums of more than a few currently popular singers.

CYNICAL MUCH?!

You can listen to it here. 

The good, the bad and the… No. 5

Professor Xavier's problem hour phone-in show
rarely had many callers.

The Good – The Old Grey Whistle Test is back! Only a few weeks after blogging about the severe lack of serious music TV shows, the BBC have announced the OGWT is to return to our screens. …What's that? …Radio?

Oh, apparently the show's reanimation will be limited to the radio. A radio music show then, presented by Bob Harris. Completely different from Bob Harris' current music radio show then. Whatever the idea is behind it, it'll be interesting to see if the show eventually migrates back to the box. 

Marty's half price leopard skin jacket was a little tight
around the neck.

The Bad – Getting attacked by a leopard. Today's Guardian has pictures of an unfortunate forest guard getting attacked by a wild leopard in a small Indian town. Makes you wonder (well, it makes me wonder) about the days when leopard attacks were a very real threat in general life. There you are, skipping up the street (mud path) to the shops (pond), just thinking about how flat the world is and wondering how the rain gets in the sky when bam! A leopard jumps out and bites you on the face.

No insurance, no painkillers, nothing. In fact, you'd have to spend half an hour collecting firewood just to have a cup of tea and recuperate. What an absolute nightmare that would be.  And lack of sugar! Hadn't even thought of that... What about milk?

Downing Street, yesterday. George Osborne begins to
feel the strain of the economic downturn.

And the Archer – Relatively new adult animation series Archer is an inspired find by my housemate. Charting the international jet setting high-jinx of the loveable floundering narcissist Sterling Archer and his band of equally inept colleagues, this cheeky little show is full of belly laughs and rye sniggers.

The flippant, saucy script is backed up by some nice animation and character design, while the gags fly betwixt witticisms and the occasional slapstick moment.

Highly recommended for Adult Swim fans, or those with a wicked sense of humour.

The good the bad and the… 4

Guess what I got with all that coin...

The Good – It's got to be the Murdochalypse, hasn't it? Who would have thunk but two weeks ago that one of the world's most powerful men would be lost for words and crumbling on our television screens before being slapped on the head with a foam pie?

What's most interesting about the whole affair is what happens next. There are a lot of powerful powerful people involved - up to their necks - so there is no guarantee anything will happen. A concerted campaigning of obfuscation is already underway by Brooks and the Murdochs, so some diligence will be needed on our part to ensure those involved in the web of misdeed and corruption are dealt with.

At present there are a lot of necks on the line. Not even Max Clifford can get Max Clifford out of this one. Hacking, lying, denial, corrupt payments, drama, intrigue, sudden deaths, it's all happening.

But despite the unpredicted confidence of Murdoch Empire shareholders, Rupert's removal from the heart of British politics will have immense consequences. For example, if this scandal proves a contagion to the rest of his operation, such as Fox News, then world politics could see a very real shift as America realigns itself away from the fundamentalist right wing, neo con blight.

I've got a bad feeling about this. 'This' being your ability
to cobble together a photoshop image.

There's a lot hanging by a thread at present. 

The Bad – Jedi Jim isn't Alan Sugar's business partner. Give him an "aw". Despite possessing powers of blarney that would befit a long running comic book series, big Jim Eastwood (what a class name) just ran out of pertinent proverbs, salubrious sayings and cloying clichés at the last. If only he'd remembered a phrase of wisdom by dear old Groucho Marx, he could have won the £250,000 investment.

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

Finally, mathematicians around the world were able
to jot down the true value of pie.

 The Marleys – After Jonnie Marbles attempted to make himself a star by wrapping a cream pie around the head of Rupert Murdoch, it has left the nation wondering, hero or zero?

In my grumble opinion, it's zero. Just as those representing the people (I'm talking about our politicians in case you hadn't guessed) began tearing apart his dark actions with admirable decorum, up rocks Jonnie Marbles to shame the process and steal this morning's headlines. What a bloody idiot.

The good, the bad and the... No.3

"I'll tell you what's magic, that isn't even my hand..."

The Good: Penn and Teller's Fool Us. This is an example of TV using a little bit of imagination and coming up with a decent show – was it really so difficult? The magical duo stand aside for a brief period to allow under the radar magicians to shine, and if their tricks manage to fool the best in the business (that's Pen and Teller, in case you didn't know), they get a slot on the pair's Vegas show. So far, all the pretenders have been of an impressive quality, with a few stars of the future in the mix. Why it's taken so long for a half-decent entertainment show to come along is anyone's guess, but I'm blaming the oppressive Ant and Dec regime.

Look at all your tweets!

The Bad: Well, it probably could have gone into the good section, but the unending spinage of everything and anything Adele will have to take a break for a while, as the shouty songstress announces a bit of a break before her next recording. Not that I'm saying she can't sing, but come on. Her music has reached official plague status with its ubiquity. In fact, I even found the end of one track at the bottom of that drawer at home that no one looks in. The one with the screwdriver, bookies pen and old letters that came to the wrong address.

"It's alright Larry, I could get a bus in there..."

The nostalgic: Yes, it's the final curtain for the Space Shuttle Atlantis, which is scheduled to launch for the last time on Friday after 30 years flying into space, apparently. I say apparently because despite being interested in all things astronomical, I can't say with any great certainty what the Space Shuttle was for. Apart from looking like the smart car version of a jet and having a big robot arm, I believe it mostly just did maintenance and cost $8.3 squillion dollars. Still, maybe the replacement (if there ever is one) will look a bit more like the Millennium Falcon and we'll all be happy.

The good, the bad and the… No.2

At last, Australia!

The Good: We're just off the phone to Irish comic legend Tommy Tiernan about his new show, Crooked Man. Apart from making the mistake that the show was entirely about Tommy turning 40 (stupid press blurb), we had a good chin waggle about his thoughts on comedy and making people laugh during a recession. Read all about it very soon.

The Bad: American audiences clapping at every joke. While watching some Youtube videos researching the aforementioned interview, we found this Tommy Tiernan stand-up slot on the David Letterman Show. Tommy can barely get a line out without the audience slapping their hands together like a bunch of seals at a Mr Miyagi remembrance service. 

 

The Curious: Monks levitating water? Now I've seen everything. Well, not everything. 

The Good, The Bad, and the… No.1

Welcome to our new regular blog digest, The Good, The Bad, And The… where each day (or thereabouts) we'll be picking something good, something bad and something… well, something.

So keep an eye out, and if you feel like letting us know about something good, bad or otherwise that you've seen, then don't be shy, let us know!

Widdle me this...

The Good: Something great actually, the line-up for this year's Belfast Blues festival has been announced, and the super talented, Big List favourite Rab McCullough is all over it like blue on sky. The Belfast born bluesman, hailed by Eric Clapton and gracer of the same stage as Jimi Hendrix, is a local legend and will rightly be featuring heavily in the festival's schedule.

Rab plays a free to enter gig in the Belfast Empire every Thursday night, and as well attended as it usually is, the fact that Rab never broke the big time means that NI gets to keep him for itself.

The Bad: The very wise and honourable Belfast city council. They've managed to, once again, ensure that the moral fibre of the city maintains its high standard by keeping the current restriction on bar opening times during this November's MTV Europe Music Awards.

"Cocktails?! Flip sake, just get them in love!
It's half 12!"

Far from making us the laughing stock of Europe, the decision to close the bars at every venue at 1.00am means that our continental neighbours will find a new respect for our preservation of decorum and piety. We will be the Shepherds, and they the lambs as we lead the 21st century western world to a new-found respect for the Sabbath day, to a purer future instilled with the right values and a rewarding sense of propriety.

Sure, our entertainment and tourism sector will likely lose a multi-million pound opportunity, but this is a small price to pay for Christian observance of the Sabbath and a considerable reduction in paper work. Ok, so the Sabbath is originally supposed to be Saturday, but since when did we worry about adhering to the doctrine of tradition, eh? Oh, hang, on… wait just a minute now…

"Uh, Giorgos? Man, you've got something on your...
actually, never mind..."

The Worrying: It may be all Greek to most people, but some late night radio-listening last night revealed something a bit scary about Europe's economic 'situation' (read: untethered bungee jump). Yes, apparently, according to some expert types, on Radio 4 so it must be right, Greece is going to inevitably ("There's no other option, it's simple mathematics, there's no other way") default on it humongous debts. This will mean Portugal, Ireland and eventually Spain will follow, and the end of the Eurozone. What happens after that is anyone's guess, but we're envisaging some kind of cool Mad Max style world, so start stockpiling petrol. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

NI Gets Glastonburied

So Glastonbury is over, huh? Well, for some bands it may just be starting.

I'm of course elliptically talking about the BBC Introducing stage that featured two Northern Ireland acts (not counting Two Door Cinema Club, of course!), Rams Pocket Radio and Yes Cadets.

The sweaty performance of RPR's startlingly good track, Dieter Rams Has Got The Pocket Radios, is a striking example of songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Peter McCauley's musical chops.

You can also check out an album's worth of his songs on Soundcloud by clicking on this lovely little link.

What's floated our proverbial boats here at The Big List is its rock arrangement and subtle complexity, lifting it above the plague of purge-worthy puerile pop pish and into the erstwhile exclusive, elevated and escalated echelons of excellence.

Here's some BBC footage of the song we're talking about, and you'll see stage right (your right, not her's) none other than the sassy songstress Silhouette on bass. 

Another talented singer, Silhouette, AKA Shauna Tohill, is usually seen behind the ivories in her alternate incarnation, and has made significant headway in her band's career, featuring heavily in new music radio stations and all that kind of stuff. Here's a look at her impressive ongoing efforts.

They could just combine the two bands into some sort of super group, but I suppose two different entities improves your chances of being spotted, and going by their Glastonbury selection, it's worked.

The other Northern Ireland ambassadors at the Worthy Farm festival was, as above, Yes Cadets. These indie dance pop minstrels have been going for several years and have been firm favourites with kool kidz everywhere, including those in the NI 'industry'.

Here's their stab in the Glastonbury limelight. 

I'm sure, after seeing the bulging crowds and blissful atmosphere, the rest of NI's musical upstarts will be foregoing their homework in order to, er, do their other homework, so bets are off on the 2013 representatives.

Terrible Lyrics Is Terrible...

What is it with the recent flood of pop songs with terrible lyrics? It's a new kind of terrible, the sort of terrible that has managed to go unnoticed because no one's terrible-radar is scanning that low.

And five minus one is... Nicole?

It simply must be the case that those buying Nicole Scherzinger's latest effort – Right There – either simply haven't noticed how laughably awful the lyrics are, or possibly believe the schoolyard chanting is laced with some kind of esoteric, impenetrable poetry. I fear it's more likely the latter.

"Me like the way that you hold my body

Me like the way that you touch my body

Me like the way that you kiss my yeah yeah yeah yeah me like it"

Yeah, you see the thing with good or acceptable song lyrics is that they convey more than just what's said. For a song lyric to work, it doesn’t have to provide some hugely revealing fundamental truth about the plight of humankind as we flash through the barely tangible plain that is existence with just our imperfect senses to guide us. To be of some value all it has to do is make an observation worth sharing or trigger an emotional response. "Me like the way you hold my body" just says nothing.

All it does is tell us that Ms Scherzinger loves the way some anonymous person holds her body, but that doesn't tell us anything about her, or us - everyone likes to be held a certain way. It's like me saying, "I like the way this food tastes". That doesn't tell you anything about how said food tastes, if you'd like that food, or what it says about people who do or do not like the food, all of which are the only things of any actual use to anyone.

Taken altogether, the only between-the-lines message that the lyrics do contain is that Scherzinger enjoys physical relations with the subject of the song, and enjoys oral sex. I'm not pointing that out to be opportunistically crude, but it's a barely concealed conclusion from the lyrics –

"Me like the way that you kiss my yeah yeah yeah yeah me like it"

"Me like the way he goin down down down down down"

Again, this doesn't tell us a lot about her or ourselves, just the bare and slightly discomforting fact that she likes these activities. Why she telling us these things, though, is maybe the interesting part.

And what about this lyric from the end of the song:

"Do you feel good for your let down good for you yeah...

"When you got up on that you do you right back"

I mean, I don't mean to be overly pompous, but seriously, that's barely English. 

"What? No, this is how I always stand..."

Jennifer Lopez is another who has just decided to throw any consideration for worthwhile lyrics to the proverbial wind. She even goes one step further in her much-loved classic, On The Floor:

"London to Ibiza

Straight to LA, New York

Vegas to Africa."

Firstly, she should be commended for rhyming Ibiza and Africa, but then we get to this section after being told, ad nauseam, to "get on the floor"

"Its getting ill it’s getting sick on the floor

We never quit, we never rest on the floor

If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die on the floor"

Getting ill then sick on the floor isn't exactly the imagery I'm looking for in a fun dance tune. Plus, it would be difficult to "quit" or be at rest on any floor covered in sick.

I realise the meaning of those words has been changed by rap and afro-American culture - there's nothing wrong with that - but their use in this context is just bizarre.

Meanwhile, the last sentence, "if I 'ain't wrong, we'll probably die on the floor" is one of the strangest lyrics I've ever heard. As far as I understand it, Lopez is saying: "the music so good here that you won't stop dancing, leading in all probability to your unceremonious death in an unnamed nightclub".

I think it's time we all lowered our aforementioned radars – and fast.

Where's The Music On The TV?

After happening upon the www.fromthebasement.tv website, during a little research about our Radiohead story today, it occurred to me how little live music there is on TV.

That being said, we're just about to see the BBC's usually fantastic coverage of the Glastonbury festival slosh onto our screen this weekend, so I can't complain too much.

But it is strange there are not more specialist music TV shows anymore. At the moment we've got Jools Holland's also usually fantastic Later show, although his line-ups have been pretty shocking in the last few weeks.

The Old Grey Whistle Test - Nice...

The field has had a long history, with probably the most vaunted show of the ilk, The Old Grey Whistle Test (here's the video of Hocus Pocus' famed performance) experiencing a nostalgic renaissance. But there have been many more.

Cult 80s music show The Tube was an influential and innovative if slightly inconsistent incarnation of the format. Introduced by Jools Holland and Paula Yates, the show was commendable for forcing all acts to perform live and featured some impressive talent of the day including Madonna, Judas Priest, The jam and Tom Waits.

The show was also notable for it's on edge feel where anything could happen, inspiring shows such as The Word and TFI Friday, where common on air swearing and catastrophe led to huge audience appeal.

Jimmy Saville. Still in full cammo after
operations in Oz - the land of.

The daddy of all UK music shows is undoubtedly Top of the Pops. Although generally sterilised, family friendly, and notorious for artists miming and cringe inducing presenters, the show was more or less at the mercy of the charts, leading to some interesting performances.

Greenday's first appearance on UK Television saw them forced to mime their instruments and sing live, leading to Billie Joe's T-shirt of protest that reads "Who am I fooling anyway".

Nirvana were also forced into the same predicament, but decided to make their legendary protest a bit more audible - that being, one octave lower.

Oasis did a similar trick in 1995, during their performance of Roll With It. The introduction by Robbie [bloody] Williams is also probably one of the reasons why no one ever took the show seriously.

In fact, Top of the Pops' audience size and side-stepping of the less commercial acts went as far as incensing some bands and even television producers. Producer Mickie Most decided his reaction would be to make an ITV music based series called Revolver. Irreverent and fearless, the 1978 show, which ran for only one series, took the rising punk scene to unsuspecting audiences. Giving an early platform to bands such as Ian Dury & The Blockheads, Elvis Costello and Siouxsie and the Banshees, the show also featured a slot by chaos inspiring comedian Peter Cook, who would ridicule the acts and the audience: "Don't touch the acts, you don't know where they've been", for example.

Here's an example of Peter Cook's typical anarchism on the show.

Among the other notable shows that never quite took off was a forerunner of Dermot O'Leary's Saturday sessions, Re:Covered. Bands were asked to come play live and also perform a cover version of whatever they wanted. Although the premise was good, for some reason the show didn't quite feel right. I hope it was nothing to do with our Dermot…

So what about today? Where are the Revolvers and Old Grey Whistle Tests of the 2010s?

Well, if Jools Holland isn't careful and keeps booking chumps like those towards the end of his last series, we may see a revival. R Kelly? …that's all I'm saying.

Best Of The Music Web

Of the one hundred and fifty trillion zillion squillion websites there are in the internet, it's sad that so few are good enough to recommend, but new site www.mapofmetal.com by talented web designer Patrick Galbraith stands out.

Map of Metal - marvelous.

The site features a stylized map moving across time and the multitudinous sub genres of metal music.

Each location gives a fascinating biography of each type of metal, from Glam Metal to Djent, and a selection of the songs and bands associated with the style.

The outcome is a fascinating traipse through metal's history and evolution and explains beautifully the splinter genres and possible reasons for their emergence.

One such bio for Viking metal reads thus: "The genre of Viking metal was pioneered by the Swedish band Bathory. The band's fourth album 'Blood Fire Death' was released in 1988 and includes two early examples of Viking metal – the songs 'A Fine Day to Die' and 'Blood Fire Death'. Eduardo Rivadavia of Allmusic describes this as 'possibly the first true example of Viking metal."

The Guardian's History of Modern Music

The launch of the site comes on the heels of The Guardian's latest fantastic run of musical features, A History of Modern Music. The interactive flash site spans up to 100 years for each genre, from jazz to rock. It provides anecdotes, news stories, biographies and obituaries of the most influential musicians of the day and the most significant events in music over the last century.

Original, engaging and intuitive to use, the guide highlights moments such as the 1978 Rock Against Facism event, the infamous "Judas!" heckle at Bob Dylan and the death of John Coultrane.

If more of the internet were like these two sites, well, we'd probably spend a lot less time putting up pictures that needed de-tagging on Facebook.  

The Rise And Rise Of The Radio

What's going on with the radio? Would you think that a century from now we'll still be using Ipods? How come the radio has managed to be relevant over such a long period of time, never mind growing in popularity?

The little speaking box is so old that its job was to replace the carrier pigeon, semaphore and smoke signals as the method of mass communication (well, ok, the telegraph). Some 110 years after its invention, its use is still ubiquitous. Not only is the device found in every car, truck, bus and newsagent but also in nearly every workplace in the Western World.

The Arecibo Radio Telescope in Puerto Rico

The same technology is used in everything from your mobile phone to x-box wireless control pad. We use it to peer at the stars, to communicate with robots on Mars and even prevent the recurrence of some types of scars.

But considering the explosion in alternative entertainment media available to us all - laptops, TV, cable, handheld devices and video games - you may be surprised to know that use of the old wireless is steadily increasing.

In recent years listening to the radio overtook watching television as the main source of entertainment – the first time since the 60s - and some ear-opening trends emerged.

The relatively erudite BBC Radio 4 surpassed 10 million regular listeners in recent years after suffering a dip in popularity, while BBC Radio 2 is now the biggest station of all, almost twice as popular as BBC's Radio One.

But why?

Things in the radio world have certainly taken a wide u-turn. Radio 4's snootiness is now celebrated, Radio 2's archaisms are held with a glinting nostalgia, and while there's young mums and school kids [and generally people who hate good music] there'll be Radio One.

The commercial channels haven't found it quite as easy, but many are now doing well, especially with the rise in digital radio and the decreasing cost of bandwidth due to the imminent analogue switchover.

Finding and downloading podcasts is now much of the nation's new hobby, with programmes such as The Adam and Joe Show, Citizen Radio, In Our Time, The Infinite Monkey Cage and others all pushing much loved albums out of Ipod memories, but this only accounts for a small percentage of radio consumption.

What's surprising is that with all this free choice readily available, we're happy to listen to the programmes and scheduling decided by others, as that's probably the only unique feature of switching on the radio. Maybe that's why its audiences have grown. With the increased use of Sky Plus, BT Vision and the other self-scheduling services for TV, there's something attractive about the programming being done for us, and the joint experience of listening at the same time as everyone else.

It's an interesting phenomenon and not one anyone loudly predicted. 

It's just a pity the whole thing will fall apart come the 2014 switch over though, isn't it.

No More Safety In Numbers

Twitter is a dangerous thing, isn't it! After nearly upsetting all the internetz by briefly tweeting an embargoed (notice to not publish) story today, it has suddenly became clear how a momentary lapse in concentration or a misheard/misread instruction could have galaxy-exploding consequences. 

A galaxy exploding - yesterday.

 Today's news happens to be rife with confidentiality related stories. This story in today's Guardian  is especially jaw gape inducing. But ongoing injunction stories along with the recent Wikileaks debacle have all highlighted a threat to confidentiality and privacy that the internet currently presents.

Will we one day just have to live without secrets?

Stay with me here, but one of the main concerns about the nearing completion of the quantum computer (within the next two or three decades) is that the whole idea of encryption will become obsolete over night. Once a workable quantum computer is up and running, all the passwords and captchas and pin numbers and secret questions about your mother's maiden name in the world will be unable to offer any protection whatsoever.

What sort of world this will lead to is complicated, scary, and beyond the scope of this article (and my mind), but rest assured it will be as epochal as the printing press. 

The quantum computer will mean captchas are
useless - Well, it's something.

The current problem with privacy is just a microcosm of the impending quantum revolution. How do I know this? I know this because the problem of the future is nearly already here - information is no longer worth anything.

One of the largest resources of information on the planet, Wikipedia, is free, as is access to the majority of the internet's content. Going by today's news, the only things people are prepared to pay to find out are the contents of celebrity voice mail messages, and the reason for that is significant.

In economics terms, what sets the price for any commodity is demand (how many people want it) and supply (how easy it is to get). If loads of people want it and it's difficult to get, then the price is high – which is why celebrity phone messages get big bucks from tabloids. However, what has happened with the internet is that loads of people want information (which would make it valuable), but there is free access to most of it (that is, supply is nearly infinite) – therefore, the actual cost becomes, in effect, zero.

How is this relevant to privacy and confidentiality? Well, the game has changed. People once bought newspapers because there was no other way to find out the day's news (supply was limited). Information was worth something and keeping secrets could mean income. That no longer applies. Information is nearly free, and with it privacy and confidentiality become worthless.

One of the biggest things Twitter has done is reduce the value of secrets and information to a whimsy. Anyone with information can broadcast it far and wide for no cost, which others can receive at no cost. Is this good? Is this bad? Well, it's definitely different.

We're in the middle of a revolution. This is the first stage in a new world where real secrets could become the most valuable assets on the planet, while your private information's only refuge will be a very precarious safety in numbers.

Britains Got.. ah, who cares...

I’ve seen examples of parallel parking that possessed more skill than some of the chumps on Britain’s Got Talent over the past few weeks.
I’ve a number of issues with the show. Number one, it doesn’t differentiate between a learned talent and a latent one. The assorted magicians, standups, dancers, stunt cyclists, artists and impressionists have spent years (or, more likely, weeks considering the general standard) putting together their act and practising it.
But as if to purposefully insult them, singers and eyeball… er… protrusionists strut on stage to share their natural and relatively unpractised gift, only to sail through to the final. Not that I feel any significant sympathy - that's only a minor issue.
Secondly, Cowell’s protestations that he had not fixed the competition to promote 12-year-old singer Ronan Parke may be true in practice, but it’s not really the full story. With a production team furiously editing together sympathetic or ridiculing montages for each contestant it’s not as if he has no say in the matter. That and considering it was his hand picked jury that put young Ronan through to the finals - whilst whimpering their unbridled passion for his cover versions - there are few charges to face.
That's the problem with Cowell's breed of pay-as-you-vote shows. There's a twisted kind of genius to them. The public pays for the privilege to pick an act to be sold back to them, while Simon reaps it in at every stage of the proceedings.
Lets break it down – He gets a huge commission fee from ITV, especially for the two hour specials; he gets the money from the millions of phone-in votes; he gets the multimillion pound Moneysupermarket.com etc sponsorship; he gets exclusive contractual access to the winners and probably the losers picked by the public; he gets the majority of the record sales, performance fees, tour tickets, merchandise and sync fees from the artists he signs to his contracts; free advertising for acts signed to his label that perform on the show, and payment for the acts not signed to him – and all this while coming across as if he's doing the country a favour by bringing said chumps to their attention.
And so what if underdog ‘crazy-jaw’ Jai did win? He and wee Ronan are still going to get wrung dry.

CD Reviews

A few CDs have landed on the Big List desk this morning. We got our hands on Rise to Remain's Nothing Left, Foster The People's Torches and Innerpartysystem's Not Getting Any Better, and here's what they sound like…

Rise to Remain are a quick, technical emo-metal band boasting some impressive guitar virtuosity. However, the guitars are mixed way too loudly for this more accessible, poppy side of metal. The song wanders into power ballad territory at times and despite the excellent musicianship and strong vocals, it's difficult to imagine the sort of person who'd be very interested in technical, emotional, slightly dated metal.

Californian band Foster The People are obviously heavily influenced by the new wave indie scene, with their debut album Torches sounding like some unreleased MGMT material. Not that that's a bad thing. The songs bounce along merrily, with their dancy, off the wall synth challenging your foot into tapping.

The choruses tend to be memorable and break nicely into settled verses with interesting melodies and happy clappy percussion. Their falsetto vocals are strong and the harmonies work well. I'd prefer a heavier mixed bass to carry more of the melody and for more punch to the syncopation the band seems to love. But overall, this is an album that keeps you guessing and usually delivers with pretty and upbeat sunshine tracks.

Check out the below video for Houdini for a good example of what I'm talking about. 

Innerpartysystem's Not Getting Any Better begins in a refreshingly thumping manner, but despite the buzzes and whirrs zipping through the track at unpredictable points, the song gets quite boring well before the end of the 3.49 running time (that's the running time of the radio edit, the vid below is an alternate mix, but you get the idea...). The single from the American electronica/industrial act repeats itself somewhat and doesn't really drive in any particular direction - it just picks up some melodic passengers as it trundles along. In a huge club and under some monolithic PA system this track might come to life, but on a wet Tuesday afternoon, it's not nearly as much fun as it promises to be.